Mr. Sandman Hates Me

Another weekend nearly over. Feels like I just left the office.

With the holiday last Monday, it was only a four-day workweek but it got off to a bad start when I couldn't fall asleep Monday night, which was like a Sunday night. I have been terrible at Sunday night sleep for my whole life! I can remember laying in the lower bunk bed in a room I shared with my three brothers when I was a kid, wide awake on Sunday nights.

It sucked then and it really sucks now. The older I get, the harder it is to function in sleep-deprived zombie mode. I have to double- and triple-check everything I do at work, and sometimes I still miss mistakes I've made.

One morning last week, I made a pot of coffee in the common kitchen on my floor. While it was brewing, I left my X university mom mug on the counter near the coffee machine and went back to my cell, I mean "office." About five minutes later, I returned for the pour, but my mug wasn't there. Hmmm.... Thinking someone else had it, I conducted a search of nearby offices, but no luck. Baffled, I returned to my cell to find it on my desk, filled with coffee, which was even more baffling.

Did I fill that mug with coffee and not remember? Was I that tired and forgetful? Sometimes I do everyday things on autopilot that I can't remember doing (like checking that the garage door is closed when I drive away in the morning), but this would have a been a new level of unconsciousness.

My next-cell-neighbor stopped at my door to ask a question. I answered foggily and he went back to his cell.

I tasted the coffee. It did not have the pink-packaged fake sugar in it. If I had poured that cup of joe, it would have been sweetened. This was a clue! Then, my neighbor returned and confessed: he put the coffee on my desk. To be nice. A man being "nice," who would have thought of that? But, when he realized it had confused me, he didn't say anything at first.

Thanks for gaslighting me, Neighbor, even if you didn't intend to do it.

It was a big relief! I nearly had myself convinced that I would be moving in with my mom in the near future. Now, one last thing, did I close the garage door that morning? 

Yesterday, I attended a lovely baby shower for a dear friend's daughter. Daughter looked great and I'm so happy she is becoming a mother, which in turn will make dear friend a grandmother. Of our small circle of first-job friends, she will be the first to obtain this status and she will rock it!

I look forward to being a grandmother, but I know it is not in Dan's and Carlene's plan for several years, as Carlene wants to complete her nurse practitioner schooling first. Carlene's mom is ready and hoping that a bundle of joy arrives sooner. As I would like to be retired before Baby Dan or Danielle is born, I admit that I am not ready.

340 days to go. That's 340 pots of coffee in zombie world.